Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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