I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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