my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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