Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
