He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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