Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
