I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
