I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize