just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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