He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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