so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
