Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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