How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
