brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize