i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
