Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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