In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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