Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
