they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
