ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
