we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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