I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
