You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
