nut hugger
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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