Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
