do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish I only lived at night.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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