Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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