your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
