member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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