That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Boobs speak an international language.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
