One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize