weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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