We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
