i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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