Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
