i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
