I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
