Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
