You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
