she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
pray to the hookup gods
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
