adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
