omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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