I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
