you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
