I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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