I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
