she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
