five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize