You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
