I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
