I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
