Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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