What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize