how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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