1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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