You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
