I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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