Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
